The teeth twist clockwise before coming out
and out they come. You shouldn't be afraid.
They are pieces of quartz from the great digs
we gave up when we found the femur in the yard.
It was a funny thing, that bone. You laughed,
looked like Prometheus with it by your side.
We are not much better now, dragging our
knuckles along the ground behind us.
Smile. Let's see your gums all pink and wet
dripping from cheek to cheek.
There is a still a Saturday left in these legs
so lets run it into the ground, see what we can find
see what else we can lose.
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From they are pieces to femur is a really cool statement...i "dig" it...bahahaha...
ReplyDeleteok but seriously, its a nice work
i might make a few cuts, for the sake of flow, and sometimes it seems the sentences dont end where it feels like they should :
" you laughed, [ ]like Prometheus with it by your side." " we are not much better now, dragging our [hands] along the ground behind us."
"smile. lets see your gums all pink and wet."
maybe? i dunno...just my 2 cents..also, the ending seems a little less powerful than the rest of the poem...i dont have a suggestion as to how to end that tho...but i like it
huzzah